L.G. Kelso
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March 06th, 2019

3/6/2019

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Friendships, long-distance friendships, friendships through college, friends, friends, friends...

I've been thinking about friendships lately. Mostly the friendships we have as kids and teens that carry on into adulthood. A sister of mine is away at school and mentioned how things felt off sometimes when seeing friends who had stayed, and that--along with getting ghosted by an old best friend--has made me do some thinking about those kind of friendships. 

No one really talks about maintaining friendships as an adult, especially when those friendships start in younger years. I don't know anyone who is the same person they were ten years ago. Or fifteen years ago. So friendships have to evolve, too. 

I was the friend that stayed in state for college. Almost all of my friends left. Most of them came from a more privileged place and went to some wonderful schools. Schools that were out of my financial ability even with scholarships etc. When I started college, I had my boyfriend and one friend left here. By the way, I adore that friend--my point is that my friend base was very small at that time. 

The thing is, when you stay, it feels like nothing is changing. It is, but you don't see it the same as someone who has moved states and is away from their family and--in so many ways--starting a whole new life.  I'm speaking as the one who stayed (I want to say "stayed behind," because that's how it used to feel, but that's not correct), but I can guess that those who leave feel similarly--that they have moved on and the others have not.

I worried that I would become obsolete as a friend. I would be replaced by newer, better friends.

And in many ways, that happened--the obsolete part. 

Friends would visit and at first it was like nothing changed. We would spend time together and chat as if there had never been space between us. We kept up talking while they were gone, too.

But things changed. Friends would visit but it would get harder to see them--they had other people they needed to see like family (which is totally understandable, btw) or they had video game parties to do or movies to see.  And every time that happened, it felt as if another piece of me was pulled from their lives.

The thing about going away--from an onlooker viewpoint--is that you are immersed in the newness. You meet new people through your dorm. You bond. All things that make complete sense.

I, like others who "stay," didn't have that.  For the first part of college, I made no new friends. I worked and schooled and the classes were big enough and people inconsistent enough that bonding over school was difficult. That changed, later, when I got into my specific program, and I gained some wonderful friends, one of whom is still a best friend to this day.

But back to long-distance friendships. I began to feel like I was the one who needed these friendships more than my friends. They would be fine without me; I was not sure I would be without them. When college was done, it became harder. New jobs, new lives, new people. 

I tried to stay relevant in their lives. I did this by trying to push  the things that used to keep us close. For one friend that was writing related things. And when I tried to do those things, tried to keep the bond through them, I found she didn't have time for it. At that time, so much of the friendship had become social media based that I saw how much time she had through her social media--Now, I know that social media is not the truth. You can't rely on what you see there. That was an assumption I made, and probably incorrectly. But back then all I saw was "I don't have time for you, but I have time for these other people and friends and hobbies and this other life of mine." 

Maybe I should have said something about how I felt back then. 

She was there for me when I needed to talk about something major going on, which I will always appreciate. But here again is where I felt the disconnect between how I needed her vs how she needed me. I needed her for those talks. She did not need me in the same way. She had others for that. I was there if she needed it, but she never did. And eventually that odd dynamic does odd things to a relationship.

Eventually the I-don't-have-time changed into disinterest due to other circumstances--which makes complete sense, honestly. What would have been good for me to have done then was find another way to bond, if there was one. 

Instead I took it to heart and felt more like I was the only one who wanted to keep the friendship going. And maybe I was. People change. Relationships change. Or maybe I was just insecure by seeing how much love and joy and time she had for others and feeling like I no longer fit into that. Her behaviors changed--I was negatively subtweeted about between her and her other friends, ignored if I asked about it, and her responses towards me shifted pretty intensely. 

Maybe that was a sign that she was done.

I felt as if I were not good enough to be her friend. This feeling was the result of comments she had made, and, I'm sure, some of my own insecurities as well. And that is shitty feeling.  Maybe I should have been done then; maybe I should have spoken up.

Instead of speaking up, I stayed quiet. I'm sure I became unpleasant. Those weren't my intentions, but I'm sure I did things that hurt her too. 

But we never discussed it. She never said anything about how I made her feel, and neither did I. 

I tend to be a bottle-it-up and harden your exterior kind of person, especially back then. Which, might I add, I do not suggest.

I think long-distance friendships can be difficult. I think particularly in the college years and after.  I have some wonderful friendships--some that are years and years in the making, one that is almost my whole life time, others that are newer. They are two sided friendships, and they are friendships that can handle miscommunications and talking, really talking. I reconnected with a friend recently, and it's been wonderful. The solution, in my opinion, to our past issues? Communication. Open communication about how we feel. 

I wish we had more books that covered these sort of topics. Those who leave and those who stay. It's a theme that doesn't fit into my current projects, and so here it is as a blogpost. 

If you're preparing to leave for college or to stay, or maybe you already have done one or the other, I hope this helps. To those that leave: your friends are terrified they will be forgotten in your new life. To those that stay: you are not "staying behind," you are not stagnant. You are changing, things are changing, it just may not be as obvious. And I hope if you have friendships that sound anything like some of what I have described that you will talk about your feelings and make those friendships as strong as you can--and if that's not meant to be, then I hope you know it's okay that some things are not meant to grow and that's okay. 

-L






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FIERCE

4/3/2018

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FIERCE is officially available, and currently you can get it for 99 cents. 
There is a blitz going on with a giveaway and some blogs sharing some excerpts (I'll be RTing them through my twitter @lgkelso). 
​
Click the giveaway link below to enter. 

a Rafflecopter giveaway
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Three years ago, Tori beat the wrong man. Her MMA training partner, nursing a bruised ego, snapped—shattering her trust and confidence.
 
Now, she's putting herself through college, avoiding all things fight related, and keeping her fists to herself. That is, until her uncle's failing health draws her back to his gym and her old pounding grounds. With her demons still haunting the cage, she's determined to keep the wall she's so carefully constructed between the past and present.  
 
Until pro-fighter Max Estrada saunters into her life.
 
The temptation to go glove-to-glove with the sexy Columbian is too much, drawing her back into the world of MMA—a world where her ex-partner reigns as current Middleweight Champion. The secret they share is a liability to his career, and he'll do anything to keep her quiet. If she wants her old life back, and a future with the fighter she's fallen for, she'll have to do more than just survive. With her life on the ropes, she'll have to face her past and fight like she's never fought before.


 Amazon / Barnes & Noble / Kobo
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FIERCE New Cover

3/19/2018

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FIERCE will be re-released April 3rd, 2018. If anyone wants to participate in the Release Blitz, you can sign up here.
I'll be honest and say while the bones of the story are the same, and the heart of it is the same, it's practically a new book. If you haven't already read it, please consider giving it a try if it may be your thing. And if you read the last version, please still consider giving this new version a read. 
To go with the new edition (that's stating it lightly, tbh), we have a new cover as well. Forward Authority designed it and I am IN LOVE. I mean, look at it. 
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See. Gorgeous. 
There will be excerpts shared during the blitz on the 3rd,and I'll probably share some teasers before then. 

Just a note, but if you already have the ebook of FIERCE, the new edition should update. In theory. If it doesn't, please let me know so I can make sure that issue gets fixed.

Oh, and here's the blurb:

Three years ago, Tori beat the wrong man. Her MMA training partner, nursing a bruised ego, snapped—shattering her trust and confidence.

Now, she's putting herself through college, avoiding all things fight related, and keeping her fists to herself. That is, until her uncle's failing health draws her back to his gym and her old pounding grounds. With her demons still haunting the cage, she's determined to keep the wall she's so carefully constructed between the past and present.  

Until pro-fighter Max Estrada saunters into her life.

The temptation to go glove-to-glove with the sexy Columbian is too much, drawing her back into the world of MMA—a world where her ex-partner reigns as current Middleweight Champion. The secret they share is a liability to his career, and he'll do anything to keep her quiet. If she wants her old life back, and a future with the fighter she's fallen for, she'll have to do more than just survive. With her life on the ropes, she'll have to face her past and fight like she's never fought before.


​-L 

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FIERCE

9/20/2017

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HELLO THERE!

Just wanted to stop by and let y'all know that FIERCE is going be temporarily unavailable.  It's going to be re-released (I'm super excited about this and the book FIERCE has become--I talked a bit about it here--) and will have more info on the dates soon. I'll post more about all of this after I've made a few decisions (which I can discuss more at that time as well). 

In the mean time please keep an eye on this blog for more info, or my twitter (@lgkelso). 

For those of you who have already read Fierce, thank you. I hope you'll consider reading it again once it's re-released as I think this is really what the book is meant to be. (I'll post how you can get the most updated copy at a future date). If you haven't read it but were thinking about it, please consider checking it out once it is re-released. :)
​

Stay fierce lovelies,
-L 
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FIERCE, SHANE, and Plans

6/28/2017

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It's been forever. 
There's been a lot going on the past two years, and my blogging (and writing) took a hit. But, I'm getting back on track with things, so I thought I would write a quick post about book things.

FIERCE is going to be re-released. I don't know the date yet. But what I do know is at it's core, it is the same book. It's a book about a female in a male-dominated sport. It's a book about a female athlete and what that means in the fighting world and her "non-fighting" world. It's a friendship book. It's a romance book. But, mostly, it's a book about a girl having to work through her issues and taking responsibility for that process (with the support of friends and love of course, but she's at the helm of it). There's still butt-kicking. There's still librarian/pro-fighter Max. There's still Will. And of course Leah and Shane. 

There will be a few differences--a few changes in pacing, a few events are different, and there's possibly more on-screen romance. Possibly. ;)

So why am I doing this?
Lots of reasons. I've grown as a writer and as a person, and want that be reflected in Fierce. I want to go with it to places that for personal reasons I was afraid to go before. Places I felt like I couldn't go then. Barriers that are now gates and not stone walls. I want to do right by it, and in order for me to feel like I have, I had to make some changes. 

I hope those of you who have read it will take a look at the new version when it's out.

AND.

Shane's book is in progress. I'm really quite excited about this book. It's pretty different than FIERCE, but I think/hope that you'll like it if you liked FIERCE. Shane's story in some ways feels like writing a fairy-tale, it's incredibly personal, and while FIERCE is an anthem of love and support and the struggles of girls in male-dominated fields, Shane's book is an ode to my heart, and what it means to love yourself and someone else (and fighting, of course).  And if we go off what's done of it so far, it's definitely got a hell of a lot more kissing (sorry, not sorry). 

Anyway, I'll post more once I have better idea of timelines, but there's an update for now. 

​_L



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Updates. Kind of. Shane's Book.

11/13/2016

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Hello!

So, it's been awhile since I've posted anything (let's be real, aside from my friend's cover release, it's been practically forever since I posted anything).  Over this past week, I've gotten a few emails from readers asking if Shane is going to get his own book. 

Yes.

I very much so want Shane to have his own book. However,I do not yet have a time frame yet of when it will be available.

I know Shane's story and it is in-progress. I had to set it aside for a bit, though, due to some other things going on this year that took priority. I'm hoping to get both Shane's story and the other companion novel I have planned on the schedule soon. 

Shane's story, so far, continues to be focused on the new adult age group and the self-discovery that comes with that time in our lives. As of now, there are two narrators. It will have the same focus on sports as FIERCE did, and Shane and his counterpart have stories that are dependent on them individually (much like Tori in FIERCE). That being said, the romance plays a bigger role than it did it Fierce, and there may be more kissing and the like than FIERCE had. 

Okay, there is definitely more kissing than FIERCE had. 

I'll update the website and post more about it once I know more about when to expect it. 

THANK YOU readers for your patience, and thank you for giving FIERCE a chance :)

-L


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Cover Reveal

10/17/2016

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My dear friend and author Carrie Butler has a new release coming out in December (woot!), and today, you can check out the cover and the blurb. I really enjoy all of Carrie's books and am looking forward to this release. Also, she's really great at things I suck at (such as computer graphics/designs and keeping up regular, entertaining, insightful blog posts), so y'all should check out her company ForwardAuthority as well as her blog!
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Title: As We Know It
Author: Carrie Butler
Category: Adult
Genres: Action / Adventure (Disaster) & Romantic Suspense
Release: December 2016
About the Book: Deep beneath the ocean, stretching hundreds of miles alongside the Pacific Northwest coastline, lies the Cascadia subduction zone—a fault on the verge of unleashing a catastrophic earthquake, thirty times more powerful than the San Andreas. Unfortunately, like most tourists, Elena Cordova is oblivious.
She’s got her own pent-up stress to deal with, a humiliating breakup that’s driven her to end her tenure as a human doormat once and for all. So, when a pickpocket makes off with the last remnant of her relationship, she takes action—only to get trapped with him when disaster strikes.
Now, if either one hopes to survive, they’ll have to get past their initial impressions and work together . . . because in fifteen minutes, half the town will be underwater.
About the Author: 
Carrie Butler is an award-winning author and the owner of Forward Authority full-service studio—not to mention an inbound-certified marketer with a penchant for superhero socks and Firefly. Time away from her desk is spent playing with her rescue pup, yelling at the TV during hockey season, and indulging in target-based recreation. Otherwise, you’re likely to find her glued to her chair, discovering new ways to share her daydreams...


Connect:
Carrie’s Favorite Virtual Haunts: Twitter  |  Facebook  |  Pinterest  |  Goodreads  |  Google+  |  Amazon
Carrie’s  Websites:  CarrieAButler.com  |  ForwardAuthority.com
Other Social Media:  LinkedIn  |  BookBub  |  Instagram  |   YouTube  |  WattPad  |  Wiselike
Book Trailer (Link): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pz08rDiH4t4
Geeky Science Resources: http://www.carrieabutler.com/cascadia.html
​

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Happy New Year!

1/6/2016

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I hope everyone has a great year! I'm going to be quiet over here for a while longer--I'm working on some things that are quite time demanding, but I'm still here. 

​Hope everyone had a fantastic end of 2015 and a great start to 2016!
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What I've been up to...

9/4/2015

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I've been quiet over here and on Twitter (kind of quiet, anyway) and facebook for a while so I thought I would pop in on my blog to say hello. The past few weeks have been busy with writing-related things, dog issues, and I hurt my back...which has significantly decreased my computer time.  Sitting at the computer seemed to worsen the injury for the first few weeks after it happened, and so I've been doing a lot of writing by pen and paper. 

I'm working on a project I planned to use for an upcoming residency, but, in all honestly, am finding it challenging.  I'm not sure if it's because the project is so new (every aspect of it is new) and so hasn't had much "simmering time" in my head, and I feel as if it's a little forced right now. So, I'll be working on that to see if it starts to feel more natural/comes more naturally, or may instead focus on a project that has been simmering longer. 

Anyway, I am here, lurking... ;) 
Hope everyone has a nice weekend!

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First Friday: Favorites 

8/7/2015

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It's the first Friday of August (insert my usual how-did-we-already-get-to-x-date freakout), meaning it's a First Friday blog post. First Friday is a thing my friend Bailey and I do. The idea is to keep us blogging and having fun with it. Today, we decided to leave the subject a little broader: What are 7 favorites of ours (warning, it's late, and some of my favorites are pretty random)?

Without further ado, here we go:
Disclaimer: I'm skipping the expected Favorite Book question because, honestly, I have a couple favorite different books. So, I figured I would mention why some of those books are my favorites in the answers below. 


Favorite Character Arc: I have more than one, but the one I'll mention here is Elisa from the Fire & Thorns series by Rae Carson. I reread the series recently when a friend was blogging about how much she loves it, and it reminded me how much I love it, too. Elisa's character arc is fresh and unique, and I love seeing the way she grows. I don't want to spoil the series, so I'll leave it at that :) (and you should go read it)


Favorite Secondary Character In A Series: So....I realize that this is not the answer, but I love love love one of my secondary characters in my current project. Anyway, I think I'll have to say...Karla from BJT by Anne Bishop (I have so many more, that's just one of the first to pop in my mind)


Favorite Fantasy Worlds In Books (Maybe this should be favorite world-building since I would not want to live in these worlds?): Alexandra Duncon's Salvage, Anne Bishop's BJT, Rae Carson's Fire & Thorn series. 


Favorite Blog By An Author: Nova Ren Suma's blog (she is also one of my favorite authors).


Favorite Would-Be-Besties: Ronan Lynch from The Raven Cycle. 


Favorite Symbol: The Claddagh.


Favorite Drink (aka, I need to go to bed and can no longer give more than a one-word answer): Water. 


What are some of your favorites for what I mentioned above?



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